love yourself

yes, but how?

"True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don't need to regularly escape from"

Brianna Wiest

I often find myself encouraging friends, health coaching clients and students to practice self-love and care. However, this concept can feel vague or even vain. What does it mean to practice self-love? For some, images of spa days or sipping on red wine or steamy tea come to mind. Although these practices feel nice, self-love can be so much more than this.

I recently read an article that reminds us, “True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.”

Escape can come in many forms. It may look like working hard at a job you don’t love so you party on the weekends. It may appear through racked up credit card bills that you can’t afford to pay off. It may mean checking wechat at all possible free times to avoid being present with your own thoughts. What else comes up for you when you read this?

Here are a few simple daily habits you might consider practicing as you explore what self-love and care can mean in your life.

1 - DO A SOCIAL MEDIA CLEANSE

Life ebbs and flows - but we seem to only share the highlights of our days on social media. Stop comparing your reality with the unachievable “happiness” that you see on WeChat moments, Facebook, Instagram, or other social platforms. Stoping comparing yourself with celebrities and Instagram stars.

Do what you truly want to do instead of what will look good to others on social media. Follow your heart and it will lead you to yourself.

Try to stay off social media for one week - don’t check the updates and start to make space and time to live and to be, as you.

2 - TAKE YOURSELF ON A DATE

Imagine your friend calls you up and tells you that she just broke up with her boyfriend or lost her job or experienced another huge life trauma. What would you do to make her feel better? How would you nourish and revive her? Would you cook a wholesome meal, bring her flowers, listen to her as she talks or journals it out? Now turn this intention of overflowing love and care inward and practice on yourself.

Turn your phone off. being unplugged is, in and of itself, a positive one but the intention is just as important. When you turn it off, tell yourself “this is time just for me. I am worthy of being the center of my attention right now.”

3 - KEEP YOUR SPACE HAPPY

Keep your space happy. Sometimes the association of tidying up an office or a home can feel tedious or feel like yet another reminder of something perpetually on the to-do list. Try shifting your intention and asking yourself “does this space make me feel happy?” If it doesn't, especially for these crucial areas where you spend most of your time, consider what small daily acts you can take to upgrade. It may be as simple as switching the lighting or adding in fresh flowers or removing clutter that causes stress.

Do it for your own joy, not just because someone is coming over or because you ‘should’.

These practices should not feel like big tasks or burdens if the right intention is there. Self-love and care are intended to create a life that doesn't just look good on the outside but that feels really good on the inside. That feeling good comes with a feeling of authentic connection to you.

You deserve this!